Pink Shadows
by Gallifrey Immigrant
Summary: April just killed someone. She thought no one could understand her, and then Miss Quill showed up. (Canon-divergence fic. Spoilers for "Co-Owner of a Lonely Heart")


April stared at the cell bars in front of her. She had been in a jail only once before, when she last met her dad. How simpler life had seemed back then. She had hated her waste of a father, and the waves of that anger always threatened to break through, to overwhelm her. It had taken years to learn how to bottle it up, how to hold the waves back. If they had been A-levels on "how to not scream out all your rage until you fall asleep", she would have passed with flying colors.

Then the Shadow-King shared his heart with her, and everything went to hell. All that anger hadn't just broke through. It had gotten stronger, and now it felt really good. When she had gotten angry, she had felt more alive than any other time. Therapy was supposed to help her, and it did, but it had never satisfied her like the power of the Shadowkin had.

That was the worst part. Even when she had seen the scimitars poking out of her father's back, it still felt good. At least for a second. Then the darkness creeped away from her mind, and tears began to fall from her eyes. Even when she slept, she couldn't get the sad, pitiful look of her dad's dying face out of her mind.

"Dad. Please dad, no. Don't be dead," April had said.

He hadn't replied.

Tanya, Ram, Charlie, they all came to see her. They all gave platitudes, and she knew they meant well. But if they really understood, they probably wouldn't have said anything.

Then Miss Quill visited. It wasn't like the others. Miss Quill had just sat down, and started reading Catching Fire, without saying a word. April had figured Charlie forced Miss Quill to arrive. After a long silence, April finally said hello.

And then, Miss Quill looked up. Instead of the pity she saw in everyone else's eyes, Miss Quill's eyes showed almost understanding.

"Have you ever killed anyone before?" Miss Quill asked.

After realizing that Quill actually wasn't joking, she said "No. I didn't think I was capable of it."

"You probably aren't. You're too much of a sniveling moralist for it. The Shadowkin pushed you. But, you did enjoy the kill, no?" asked Miss Quill.

April couldn't answer. She looked down at the floor. Her hands fiddled with her dress, and she wished that she had her cello with her.

"Your mother sent me. Told me to let you know that you're free to leave. Shadow blades leave no trace, so the utterly abysmal authorities can't keep you. So, do pick your stuff up, and hurry," said Quill.

"But, I did it. I deserve punishment. I want punishment," said April.

"We can't always get what we want. The world doesn't revolve around your guilt. Chop-chop," said Quill.

A few minutes later, Miss Quill and April were walking down the street. Rose petals littered the floor, and April noticed that Quill was being careful to avoid them. There was a silence echoing around them. Buildings looked even dirtier than usual, and the sweet smell of flowers covered them. And something else mixed in, a smell of iron. In April's ribcage, her heart beated even faster. April didn't know when the Shadow King would return for her, and didn't care.

"When I was your age, I had slaughtered countless people," said Quill, a hint of pride in her voice.

"Yeah, but you didn't kill your dad," said April. The smirk that Quill gave in response made April blanch.

"Why are there so many rose petals?" asked April.

"They're not rose petals. They're carnivorous aliens. There's actually a mini-apocalypse going on right now. Didn't tell you, cause I didn't want to overwhelm you," said Miss Quill casually.

"Is my mom safe? What about Ram and the rest?" asked April.

Miss Quill rolled her eyes, and replied "They're all fine, you care-bear!"

April stopped walking. How could Miss Quill act like everything was fine?

"Listen, you idiot, I'm not a care-bear. I killed my-"

Before April could finish, Miss Quill was eye-level with her, and said "In order to kill your father, that waste of human tissue, you needed the push of the literal embodiment of evil. There are people who would kill without that influence, without a second thought. People who kill just for fun. I know a killer when I see one. I _am_ a killer. Don't you dare defame my title by giving it to you, or I may strangle you myself. And then your mom might try to strangle me, and then it'll just get messy," said Miss Quill.

There was several seconds of staring. April could see her own red eyes reflected in Quill. For a second, she thought of tearing out Quill's neck, just for threatening her mom. Then she thought of what her mother would say, and felt her inner shadow recede. Her eyes cleared up, and the blades she hadn't realized were there dissipated.

Miss Quill held out her hand "Come on, little one."

"Don't patronize me," said April.

"I patronize everyone," said Miss Quill.

They walked to April's house. She could see the form of her mother in the window. What would she say? What could she say?

April turned back, and began to walk away. She passed Miss Quill, whose face showed no expression. April expected Quill to give There was nothing there for her in that house. She didn't want to face her mother's sadness, the anger, the anguish. She couldn't put her mom through that. It would be better to just find a new life. Anywhere that wasn't here.

"Running away? Growing up just like dear old daddy," said Miss Quill.

April stopped, and turned her head back. Miss Quill wasn't even looking at her. Just playing on her phone, waiting on April to make a move.

"April?" said her mother. Her mom had rolled out the house. Countless emotions seemed to cross her mother's face. April didn't know whether to run or stay.

"April, come home to me," said her mother.

And that was when all that emotion April had locked away emerged. The wall broke down, and rivers of sadness and anger and fear fell down her cheeks, and she found her arms around her mother. It felt ten times better than the shadow power ever had.

"Like I said", muttered Miss Quill as April and her mother embraced, "bloody care-bear."


End file.
